Bully Prevention Efforts - Is there a better way?
“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”
I am certain you have either heard or said these words from your own childhood or from your child’s. Could this childhood taunt actually be valid? What if more powerful words could not be spoken? What if this is the key to preventing our children from suffering needlessly from bullying?
Can we all agree that the one and only things we TRULY have control over is ourselves? What if we concentrated our bully prevention efforts on the aspect we can control – ourselves, rather than focusing externally? What if we redirected some harmless but annoying childhood behaviors we dislike away from adults and toward bullies? Not removing the natural behaviors but giving children permission to use them on the bullies.
May is the worst month for bullying. The weather is beautiful; kids get a taste of freedom during spring break; despite being in the final stretch, they are done with school; and, most importantly, the bullies had all year long to find the best targets who will give them the biggest reactions. But what if there were no reactions? Would bullies still bully if other students discarded their attempts? If bullying wasn’t fun anymore because the bullies didn’t get the reaction they desired, would bullying even be a problem?
As an engineer I focused on the root cause to stop the undesired effect. Once the root cause was eliminated or significantly curtailed, the undesired effect diminished. That same science applies to bully prevention; we just need to focus on the proper root cause.
Do children understand their identity is NOT rooted in what they do, or don’t do? We see great examples of adults who are well rooted in their identity and are better able to ignore what others have to say about them. What if we could teach children the same concept?
- Teach children their self-worth is not rooted in what they do – their activities, events, accomplishments, and titles – rather in who they are.
- Take time to build value into a child’s life by vocalizing why they are valuable and their traits that make them unique.
- Relay the understanding that mistakes are not failure; rather they are the best teachers on how to improve.
- Help them accept that things can be hard, that no one is perfect – especially the first time – and that warriors, champions, and leaders wouldn’t exist without things to overcome.
Mental health issues, especially in children, appear to be at an all-time high. If children were able to let the insults of the bully bounce right off them and walk away unaffected and unscathed, what kind of impact would that have, not only on mental health but on the occurrence of bullying as well?
Pilsung ATA Martial Arts
1729 US 31 South A
Greenwood, IN 46143
317-881-2762